Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize