No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
