Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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