I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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