respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize