By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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