If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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