I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
