You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
