Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize