I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
