You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
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