Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
