Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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