it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize