you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
as a side note pls kill me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
