You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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