OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
