Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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