She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
