Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
