Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
