We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
