Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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