So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
