We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
