Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm passing your future prison.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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