You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
