i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
