also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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