Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize