The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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