Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
