someone threw a dead crab at me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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