sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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