omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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