I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
