I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Mom said you looked used
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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