so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
