The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
