A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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