do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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