the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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