Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
