just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
