Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize