your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
