you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
