with your own penis?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
