You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You pole danced in your parka.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
