Kiss
Puke
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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