Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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