so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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