Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
