I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
