I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
