come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
