I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize