I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize