My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
