JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
