brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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